A Lot Can Change Within A Year…

I think it’s safe to assume that most, if not all of us have experienced some pretty drastic life changes over this last year and a bit. Very rarely is there an event (pandemic in this case) that affects every single person in the world in some way shape or form. (I won’t touch on the pandemic any closer than that as I am sure you all are up to date with its current affects…) This last year I have tackled some of the biggest adjustments in my life which all unfolded before the wake of this virus.

Where was I?

In October 2019 I was living and travelling around the North Island of New Zealand with my partner at the time, Mitch. We based ourselves in Kuaotunu, a small town in the Coromandel Peninsula where we fell in love with the landscapes, lifestyle and the beautiful community of people back in 2018. So naturally we decided to spend a second summer here.

Mitch and I had previously been travelling and living on the road for 5 years prior to October 2019. We met in university with similar interests and a desire to travel Australia, and from there we would spend the next few years converting five empty-shelled vans into tiny homes, exploring and living around Australia the United States and New Zealand, working with Tourism on campaigns and shoots to fund our lifestyle along the way.

Sounds Ideal right? For the most part it was, travelling and exploring the world with your best friend whilst earning a bit of money to get you by… not to mention the simplicity of the lifestyle and how little you consumed. It was perfectly aligned with how I wanted to live my own life, prioritising exploring the natural world with only the bare essentials, having hardly any money but enough to live and give back and focusing on the limited possessions you need to survive and to have an enjoyable and happy life.

So what changed? Or what shifted in my life to bring about a change if I was living a life aligned perfectly with my own values and aspirations?

Whatever you believe in, whether it be fate, a higher power, or, that we make choices in our lives based on the path we are meant to take - to experience new things /go through a personal transformation... I felt a need to grow as an individual. I needed to find my own identity out of a relationship, I needed to take action on my own life without thinking how that could or may affect another person. And it wasn’t just a relationship, “all my eggs were in the one basket” which felt right at the time, but it also made me quite dependent on that connection financially, emotionally and physically. I wasn’t just going to lose my best friend, but also my business partner. Of course I wouldn’t change a thing looking back, I had an incredible lifestyle/life and loved living simply for so long. There are definitely some things to consider though that can help with couples on the road, its also worth noting, especially if you are reading this and thinking about van-life with your SO, that time away from each other is healthy and necessary! You may not see this at the time, but there is no harm having time to focus on yourself and do what you want, as well as having that space from each other to realise you are both completely separate people with different hopes, dreams, fears, hobbies and lives..

I used to always say (after 1 year, 2 years, 3, even 4,) that if you can spend 24/7 travelling, working, and living with your loved one, and you still tolerate and love one another - than its meant to be! It must? Who else could you spend that amount of time with, living on top of each other, if they aren’t your soulmate/meant for you? Honestly, the amount of interviews I answered with “living with your best friend isn’t always easy of course you fight and disagree, but you just learn to resolve things quickly because you love each other and if you can live on top of each other every single day and don’t kill each other than its meant to be…” and what a load of SHIT!! Sorry, but lets be real. There are many different variables that make a relationship work or not, I am in no way a professional and can’t speak for everyone and their personalities/flaws etc. BUT I can speak for myself and my experience living on the road with a SO and if you are going to take the plunge or you already are living this lifestyle together, definitely have some sort of a plan/schedule for some alone time, travelling alone or having some time living apart. Whether its a weekly, monthly or yearly occurrence, I can’t stress enough how crucial it is for your own development as a an independent human being, to function and know you are able to live a happy life, with or without your SO. Also, being able to live on top of each other for long periods of time is not an indication of a healthy working relationship, it just shows you enjoy each others company (yay) and that you may or may not be codependent (boo!)

And I know what you’re thinking… you’re either someone that already knows and lives by this standard, OR you can’t get enough of the quality time and adventuring with your SO, and if its working why change? Trust me, I felt this way for 5 years and if you care for your relationship and more importantly yourself, make some time where you don’t have to rely on anyone other than yourself.Also, the lack of space, and “resolving” things hurriedly eventually take its toll.

Neither of us are bitter or look back upset/angry on our time together, we were just not bringing out the best in each other anymore and knew if we continued we would slowly resent each other and be in the relationship for the wrong reasons, so we both decided it was time to part ways after an epic adventure together.

Where am I now?

After a big reality check, a lot of tears/screams and of course time… I slowly started to regain my independence and put myself first. I left New Zealand and had a good couple of months back home with family and friends in Sydney where I processed A LOT. A friend over in Western Australia (thanks Johnno) reached out to me to come visit and stay with him in Margaret River where I had always felt drawn to after I first visited a few years prior. After a couple of hours of talking on the phone I booked a one-way flight to Perth/Margs, February 2020. I met a lot of likeminded beautiful people, regained my confidence and also decided to start a sustainable swimwear line which I had wanted (and attempted to do) way back in 2014. The virus, thankfully, has not physically affected myself or this beautiful region but with a one-way ticket and no concrete life-plans it is what “forced” me to stay and is what inspired me to start a life here., the borders closed, and well, its Margaret River!

So here we are! 1 year on and still learning to love myself with each new day. I am so thankful to be where I am right now, it’s the longest I have kept these gypsy legs stationary (living in the one region) and I have never felt more at home. There is still so much I want to explore and this definitely isn’t the end of living on the road and living simply, but if this year has taught us all anything its to appreciate all the smaller things in life, including where you are currently… the constant need to be or see somewhere new can make you lose sight of finding or having found a deep connection to a place, a taste of home.